


The last thing my heart expected

by RubyRollup



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2020-07-09 06:21:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19883041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RubyRollup/pseuds/RubyRollup
Summary: No matter how much the world progresses and changes, certain things in life seem to always follow a pattern.But sometimes, whether by choice or by circumstance, the pattern deviates.





	1. A picture of a life

**Author's Note:**

  * For [VibraniumHeart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/VibraniumHeart/gifts).



> For you, Syd.  
> I've been sitting on this idea for a year, but the muses have abandoned me.  
> However, I have no words for how much your gift means to me...and so I'm going to try and say thank you through this.

_No matter how much the world progresses and changes, certain things in life seem to always follow a pattern. Wedding traditions, for example._

_When a couple is in love, most times, marriage is the automatic next step. Details may change, but the formula usually remains the same. There is a romantic proposal with a ring. The ceremony is held in a church, and the reception in a suitably glamorous venue. The bride wears a white dress and veil, the groom a tuxedo. Rice is showered over the couple for prosperity and good fortune, and the groom carries his bride over the threshold of their home as they enter it as husband and wife for the first time. After an appropriate honeymoon period, the union is further solidified and blessed with children._

_But sometimes, whether by choice or by circumstance, the pattern deviates. As is the case in this instance._

_The marriage ceremony was held in a court room, and the reception attended by two and a half people in a restaurant during a busy lunch hour. Instead of the bride being carried in the groom’s arms, she walks in behind him, carrying a sleeping five-week old baby girl in her arms over the threshold of their (his) home. Instead of a white dress and tuxedo, the bride and groom wore three-piece work suits, planned no honeymoon, and avoided the topic of children (except for the one that would have no memories of the woman who gave birth to her)._

_While the union was not a romantic one, it was born out of love…the love of one friend for another. The kind of love that makes a woman marry her widowed best friend, hoping that in time, he would emerge from his grief. Hoping that his daughter would never feel her mother’s loss the way her father was feeling it. The kind of love that makes a woman do all this, knowing that the man she married loves and cares for her, but will never be in love with her, as she (secretly) is with him._

_She walks to the nursery to settle the baby. There is a heaviness in the house, except for this room, and it takes a while before she can leave it to face the life she has chosen for herself._

_She finds her husband in the living room sitting on the sofa, his head hanging in his hands, and her heart breaks for him all over again. They don’t speak. But there is no need to…she knows what he can’t say._

_The second he feels the dip beside him, he turns and falls apart in her arms._

…

_(Five years later)_

Her body didn’t know the difference between Saturday and Tuesday. Madison had been lying in bed with her eyes closed but fully awake since 5am, until she heard little footsteps outside her bedroom.

She felt warm breath on her nose, and opened her eyes to Sophia’s unruly, red curls and wide-awake blue eyes.

“Morning, Peanut,” she whispered, shifting back slightly and opening the covers, expecting her to climb in. Climbing into her bed was Sophia’s routine every Saturday and Sunday but she had other ideas this morning, standing next to the bed, tugging at her hand.

“No cuddles this morning?”

“No time for cuddles, Maddy. Grandma Winnie is coming to fetch me today!”

“A little softer, baby. You’ll wake Daddy,” she shushes Sophie, slowly opening the covers to get out of the bed without disturbing the sleeping man next to her. “Let’s get you ready.” Taking Sophia by the hand, they tiptoe out of the bedroom. As they enter the nursery, she asks, “Have you greeted Mommy yet?”

Walking into the nursery, Sophie skips over to the framed picture on the nightstand next to the little bed, picks it up and presses a kiss to the beautiful redhead reclining on a sofa, cradling her very pregnant belly and smiling up at her from under the glass. “Good morning, Mommy. I'm going for a sleepover at Grandma Winnie's house today. Maddy is going to help me pack and get ready. I'm soooo excited!!! I'll have lots to tell you tomorrow night. Love you!” 

Throughout the past five years, people have looked on their life with confusion (and in many cases, judgement). The nature of her marriage to Bucky was no secret – he protected her, looked after her, and cared for her; they were partners in raising Sophia, and they were still the best of friends. They were husband and wife in every way...except one. But that was okay. She would never ask him for more than he was prepared to give. And even though she made it her life’s mission to be mother to Sophia, she would never dream of taking Natasha’s place. Through the stories she told her, and the pictures and videos she constantly showed her, Maddy made sure that Natasha would be a constant presence in her daughter’s life.

Her choices may make no sense to anyone else, but it didn’t have to. It made sense to those who mattered. It made sense to her. She had no regrets. She helped her best friend through his grieving and became a mother to a motherless little girl. She loved them and they both loved her.

It was enough.


	2. Through unblinkered eyes

Saturday mornings usually started with Sophia chirping in Bucky's ear or cuddled in the bed between him and Maddison. This morning he woke to silence and cold sheets, and the smell of freshly brewed coffee and cinnamon which eventually lured him from the bed.

He found Maddison alone at the kitchen table, focused on the phone in her hand and an empty plate in front of her.

"It's quiet down here."

"Hey, you're up. Yeah, your mom fetched Sophie an hour ago. We saved you some pancakes. They're in the warmer."

"Thanks. Refill?" he asked, picking up her empty mug.

"Please."

He poured their coffee, fixed himself a plate and joined her at the table.

"How did I sleep?"

Weird, yes. Because usually you ask the other person how they slept. The nightmares started after Natasha died. Bucky's screams wouldn't just wake Maddie, but Sophie too. Even the neighbors (a time or two). It's the reason they started sleeping in the same bed...to wake him before it got too bad.  
It took a while but Maddie somehow persuaded him to get help. But sometimes there is the odd episode. And every morning he still asks the same question. 

"Good." Maddie smiled. "We didn't wanna wake you."

Silence settled over them as they finished their breakfast. A quiet breakfast table was a rare occurrence in their house, so they relished the odd morning when it did happen. Bucky didn't recall Maddie ever being on her phone so much though, or smiling at it so much either.

"And that face?" he couldn't resist asking.  
She looked like she'd just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. 

"It's just Wanda."

Wanda was Maddie's colleague and childhood best friend. She made no secret about her disapproval at Maddie's decision to marry Bucky, and was constantly trying to set her up with someone. They'd had different versions of the same conversation many times over the past few years, and it usually ended the same...them laughing at Wanda's failed matchmaking attempts. Usually.

"Who is it this time?" 

"New guy that works in the legal department," she answered, still smiling at her phone.

Downing the last of her coffee, she put down her phone and made her way to the sink with her dirty dishes.

Their decision to get married was met with resistance by so many... But it made sense to them,at the time they made it. Sophie and Bucky needed Maddie - and Bucky knew with every Fibre of his being that they would not have made it without her. He never fully realised what Maddie had given up though. The pancake was starting to stick in his throat, so he scraped the last bits of his breakfast into the bin and joined Maddie at the sink.

"Hey," he said, nudging her with his shoulder until she looked at him. "I know you've always told Wanda no... But if you wanted to say yes, you know that I won't stop you, right?"

The few seconds she took to answer felt a lot longer than it should have. "I know. But you do know that I'm a married woman, right?"

"Yeah, I know that. But -"

"And," she continued as though he hadn't spoken, "as unconventional as it is, I take my marriage vows very seriously." She stood on her toes and kissed him on the cheek.

"You and Sophie are my family...and I'm not going to give my family up because some guy thinks I'm pretty."


End file.
